Welll....

I failed my driving test. I am not angry, lots of people fail when they are perfectly good drivers, it just is painful because I am going to have to starve a little bit more than what I was going to before which was practically to the point of death anyway, so we shall see how that goes. It will begin very soon no doubt because I have £30 left on my credit card (which i will have to use for conact lenses) £30 cash and I am still £160 short of rent and bills for the summer. Well not even the entire summer, just until start of August. I need to find another £160 like I said for then and then another £250 for rent by start of Sept.

I can't do much admin work because I need to keep my nose to the grindstone if I want to get anywhere near a 2.1 his semester so quite frankly how I am going to solve this situation is a mystery. For now, I just need to get my 2.1 there is food in the house to last about 2 weeks ish, then we shall have to go from there. There are los of misc. things I need though like bus tickets, so I genuinely don't have any cash already. I really wanted to go to the summer ball aswell but tickets are £35 so I suppose that is out of the question :(

I'm going to go and get on with the task of getting something ou of this 3 years of porperness Byeeee x

EEEEKKKK

My driving test is tomorrow!!!!!!!

I m not going to say I am nervous, because I can pass first time and I can drive. I just have to focus and be confident.

x~Olive~x

Evil Internet

The internet can be so evil sometimes, it just sucks your life away. I haven't done nearly enough of my essay so I have decided, I AM NOT GOING TO BED UNITL IT IS FINISHED. I can't go back on that now, I have given my blog my word, once it is done I can sleep, and I like my sleep so maybe I'll stop pissing around. I have annoyed myself now at wasting so much time. I shan't sleep until it is done, plus my OH is back tomorrow so I don't want to have bags/still be in bed when he turns up. Not to mention the fact that the boiler man is coming tomorrow so I have to be up and showered before 9am if I don't want to be embarrased.

I can get more of my EU essay done then I suppose. But really. I am not sleeping now until this is finished. How the hell I am going to be able to do a dissertation next year if I can't even write a little essay!?

Just quickly before I go, I have been eating really healthily the last few days as planned :) and feeling a tiny bit less enormous already, but I can't stop the second I feel a bit thinner, because this is a lifestyle change, which I need to rememer, yes I can have the odd off day max, once a week, but that is all. I think I might have a small bowl of pasta for dinner tonight because I haven't had many carbs this week and I don't want my calorie intake to be too low. Today I have eaten, 6 cracker bread with cream cheese and olives (breakfast), a fishfinger sandwich(lunch) and a pear (snack) Hmmm, doesn't sound much. I am not going to count calories though, because it takes too much time and effort, but I'm sure its an okay amount, especially once I have had dinner.

Right it is 5pm so I have about 5 1/2 hours to do this essay...plenty of time I think If i focus.

Losing Weight

So here we are again, I begin on my mission to lose weight. I have no idea how much I weigh right now, but I think I will find out and then I need to sort it out! I think I would like to lose between 1 and 1-1/12 stone depending on how much I weigh now. Basically I don't want to be any more than 9 stone so I know I have at least a stone to lose which is a lot!

I am not really doing much to lose the weight, just eating less, smaller portions, less carbs. Smaller portions is the biggest thing for me, I am okay after I have got used to it for a week but then I am so easily tempted by a massive meal so I need to stop falling at that hurdle. I really want a flat stomach and to fit in my old jeans again. I know I am a bit podge and I need something to motivate me. So I know I need to be really toned before I have children and its harder to get there the older you are so I may aswell do it now when I am still at uni, rather than worrying about it hen I have graduated and have a million other things to worry about. I will weigh myself in Boots later on this week and let you know where I am with my weight and then hopefully will be able to record my losses here as I go! I am aware about the lifestyle change but right now I just want to get it off, then stick to smaller portions later.

Being on my own is really rubbish by the way, I am bored out of my mind and my essay is really difficult but I have to start a new one tomorrow and get my presentation sorted tomorrow too. So I am feeling stressed about work already :( I hate not having to speak....for hours on end, it feels weird.

Easter

So the low down, Family are in Egypt whilst I am stuck in dreary old england :( My man has decided to stay at his Mum's for the rest of Easter which means I get to spend the next week all on my own which is quite frankly, completely crappy and I miss him already.

I had an awful mock driving test last week were I got 7 majors and my manoveurs went horrifically wrong, but my test is now on the 22nd of April which is a fantastic date I will hopefully be comfortable with everything by then and *fingers crossed* i'll pass. I can't imagine how stressed I would be right now if it was in 3 days!

I am still jobless but a prospect has come up which reminds me I need to send off my application today, and I am getting into my first essay which is a good job because I need to finish this and write an entire new one this week if I am to have any hope of not getting massively stressed about assessments after easter. Which i really can't be bothered with (the stress not the assessments)

I quite like writing essays so I just have to keep myself motivated!

x~Olive~x

A Quick Hello

Just a fly by visit because I haven't written in ages! It is Easter Sunday and I am all on my lonesome :( but I have just made a yummy victoria sponge cake and hopefully my dinner for one will be a success! I am planning on writing at least half of an essay today, between now and me being back in the kitchen which is why I don't really have much time to write about anything.

I all good though, I haven't seen M in just over 24hours and I miss him loads already! Which is rubbish but he will be back Tuesday. I was feeling needy when I left him so I expected to miss him.

I have to get at least 2 essays done in the next week. One I just need to write, all the planning has been done, (easier said than done though!) the second one needs a lot more work. But I am not on my own for nothing so when M comes back I want to be a bit relaxed and he can feel stressed about all the work that needs to be done!

x~Olive~x