HERMIT

Yeah cos I really chose to have no money and to not be able to go out because I really do prefer it this way being really really lonely.

IDIOT > TWAT > SPOILT > BRAT

Library

I made it to my 9.15 this morning and I am pretty damn pleased with myself! I have been in the library since, preparing for a seminar presentation meeting. I went and NO ONE in the group had done any reading. AT ALL. If I hadn't done they wouldn't have a clue what to say and it would have been a waste of time but instead they get the fruits of my labour! What is the sense in going to organise a seminar when you don't even know what the seminar is about. it s beyond me.

Anyway, look at me pretending to be miss contientious, well I am aspiring. I really need to get on with my IDP essay now, time is pressing on. I am working tonight so today will be a long day. I left the house at 8.50 to catch the bus to uni and won't be home until about 10pm because I finish work at 9.30. I am a bit tired of calling people now tbh!

I need to arrange a meeting with my tutor to discuss my grades too. I have only seen her once and didn't like her :/ Oh well, if I see her again and don't like her I can always switch, even though it is a bit late in the day. Job front is pressing but I really do need to get the Essay done more than anything. I have just over two and a half hours more library time, which is nothing tbh with the amount I have to do. Better get on with it then!

x~Olive~x

Busy

So I didn't really let myself get upset about my failure on the job front yesterday, but me, knowing myself quite well, knew I needed to have a good bawl at some point. Well that point was this morning. My man (I think I will call him M from now on istead of writing man) turned the heating on in the bedroom again in the middle of the night, I can't express enough how much I hate this. I woke up at six thirty and went a bit mental about it. Then had a bit of a cry, then got upset about the job I think, so had even more of a cry and proceeded to do out to my driving lesson bleary eyed. No more crying over the job itself now though. Although I will no doubt get upset about the fact that I can't insure my car, or I have no money to spend on fun stuff even when I do get my loan, or that I run out of money completely in June...all I will be left with is rent until the end of september. No food, no anything! Anyway, M was really quite understanding actually, I love the way he is starting to suprise me with his understandingness (not even a word lol).

My driving lesson was okay I suppose, nothing special, nothing horrendus. I have a 3 hour lesson on Saturday starting at 8.15am! I am not too sure if i will be ready for my test, so I might well fail, but I don't mind too much (well at least I didn't when I thought I would have a job to go back to) I will just book one for as soon as I can afterwards.

I have so much to do this week and next. I need to finish an essay I am writing for one of my units and get my group sorted for a presentation we have to do right after easter. The essay HAS to be done and to a fairly high standard because although it is only a draft what is the point in handing in a draft that is nothing like what the essay is going to be like! Apart from that I have lots of driving starting now, like I said Saturday, then I have Tuesday and then Friday. I also need to sort out my CV write cover letters and get applying to some jobs/internships if I can find some.

Right now I am going to go home and cook me and M a roast for when he gats back from work, because I think I was hard work this morning and he was lovely and just said that he was worried about me.

x~Olive~x

Jobless

So I didn't get the Job. I think it is so harsh to be told that I was really good at my job last year and to apply for a better role and then to not get a job at all. Nothing I can do about it no though. As far as money is concerned I have none. literally, not even when I get my loan. It is so depressing but I just need to continue looking for another job.

My budget shows that I will run out of money on the 26th June, I will have money put away for my bills and rent until the end of september, so I will have to find Octobers rent and some bills before the end of September, and then food money from July onwards.

Sheffield

My man has gone to Sheffield today for his water polo finals. I considered going with him but they laft at 6am and I wanted to be ready for next week at Uni a little more because I really need to write at least one essay over the next few days. So today I think I will spend cleaning, organising and reading / making notes, sorting out what library books need to be back and when etc. making a substantial plan for both of my essays. Hopefully I can be in uni by 9am every day (except when I have driving lessons) up until Easter.

I have two shifts as a caller next week, I am actually quite good at it by the way, which pleases my man because he was worried I was going to be rubbish and that it would upset me. We (or he) is a bit short on rent this month, which isn't very good, but he will have to try and sort something out. I am a bit worried about the rent and bills for the summer really as as of yet he has no income and It will have to come out of his rent until he knows he can pay it otherwise.

I am feeling a bit broody again which is rubbish, but now the common sense part has clicked, (as in the bit that says WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING WANTING A CHILD!!! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LIVED YOUR LIFE AFTER GRADUATION WITH A CAREER YET, AND CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO GO OUT ONCE A WEEK LET ALONE BRING UP A CHILD) Its pretty much tamed to the point where I don't get the urge to let him be stupid. Because no doubt he doesn't want one yet, but he is just male, and with me off the pill he occassional gets carried away). Plus he needs to have my hand in marriage before we can make any ickle baba's, preferably. But we definately need to live life a bit together, with money, and without the constraints of a child first. Not that i was thinking about it seriously, its just broodiness can sometimes take over!

Right I need to shower, have breakfast and be generally productive. I haven't stayed at home for no reason.

x~Olive~x

Catch up

Well I haven't written much for a while, so I thought I'd go for a long one. My driving test is in 4 weeks today, and I think my driving is going a lot better. I had a good last lesson but I have only had one this week because I couldn't do this morning. My driving instructor doesn't seem to worried about my progress in relation to my driving test so it should be okay. I did my first manoever this week. Turn in the road (or three point turn) it was really easy! So I am looking forward to my next lesson, I think it will all come together even more.

I got my exam results. They were what I needed, but not what I wanted, I was hoping for a 64% average, but I got a 61.4% average. My economics unit was really bad as I expected and ended up with 53% but I was really shocked at my Conflict result because I got 53% overall, and I thought that exam went really well! In my other 3 units I got 68 68 and 65 though which is really promising. This semester I hope to get 67% average, because then my overall average for the 2nd year will be 64.2% so something more solid. A 1st Class degree is pretty much impossible for me I think, but I just want above 65% so that isn't an issue, I still need to work exceedingly hard for it though.

I have been really lazy for the last few weeks, but now I have realised we are half way through the semester already so I have started to panic a little bit. I have also realised that staying at home is no way to get any work done, not even essays. I need to get out of the house to work hard so thats what I will be doing.

I didn't get the job for the summer that I wanted because it was 15weeks (it wasn't a particularly enticing job) but I got an interview and they replied saying I was an outstanding candidate but I was overqualified. I was furious to say the least. But I had to get over it and today I had my Job interview for the Open University as both a coordinator and assistant, I really want the coordinator role, as it pays just enough for me to be okay over the summer. The assistant role, not quite enough. I was supposed to be told this afternoon whether I got the job, but I haven't heard :( so I am slightly nervous about having to wait until Monday.

Me and my Man have been getting along really well recently, infact we are amazing most of the time :) he has started talking about our future together after university which is so nice, because I thought I was the only one who was thinking about it, but he has plans, I love him more than anything, he really is my soul mate so I hope nothing comes between us.

I am a bit bored with things at the moment, I don't really have any thing to do that I enjoy, I simply can't afford it. I would love to be able to go and watch a film, or go for a meal, or even go for a drink, but I can't and I haven't been able to for ages. I reall can't wait until my wages start coming in!

I am going to make dinner, so I'll sign off

x~Olive~x