UPDATE

So I dissappeared for a while...sorry!

I will just give a quick run down of where my life is at right now. I got a job for the summer and worked in Bath alone the entire time. Pretty grim, but it paid the bills and allowed me to brighten up my wardrobe for the first time in a long while. I worked with a bitch...job was easy not much else to say about that.

OH and I are having a bit of a rough time at the moment, the summer was a strain for us. He was quite franky a bit of a twat but we are trying to get through it. I called a break 2 days ago though because I am feeling really neglected and I think things need to change. Relationships eh.

I have been ill for the last 3 weeks and am just trying to get back on track of things. I think I might do a week in the life....as of tomorrow. To show where I am with my life.

Also me and OH had sex on Monday and I thought that I ovulated this morning, which is obviously a bit high risk 4dbo. It wasn't completely definite that I did ovulate though, because it was kind of while I was alseep. I will have to see if I feel myself ovulate this weekend or not.

x~Olive~x

2nd Driving Test and General Election

I PASSED!!!!!!!!! :)

I had a ledgend of an examiner and I passed with 8 minors, the drive was awful in comparison to my first test. I had an awfully shaky leg when I did my bay park at the beginning but it was fine. Then on the drive my gears were quite bad, I kept forgetting to change to 1st when stopping at the roundabouts at the last minuite! I also forgot to check my blidspot when pulling away at one point and goodold george just did a good old head gesture to remind me, and then pulled me over again to check! I also tried to do a hill start in neutral lol, so rolled a tiny bit, but sorted it out straight away. My other manouver was turn in the road which was perfect as usual. At roundabouts I took a small gap twice which my driving instructor would have slammed the breaks on for, but he just gave me a minor for observation lol. So all is good, and I can now drive for life which is odd! I think I am going to insure my car, If i can get my parents to do it for the summer and then I take over. Exciting!

I have finished all my essays, which were all rushed, so I am annoyed with myself but they weren't horrendus (except one which was 500 words short) , I am such an idiot.I won't know what they are worth for a while so i may as well just focus on revision.

I am convincing myself I am pregnant again which is stupid!!! I am most probably not, I am just symptom spotting but it is doing my head in, I got away from it for a good few months, and this month it is back with a vengance.

My OH has gone back home because hehas to get his jabs and it is his mothers Birthday tomorrow. I miss him already! I hate going to bed alone. I have lots to write about the summer and the OH which I will do shortly but for now I am going to bed! Night

x~Olive~x

Welll....

I failed my driving test. I am not angry, lots of people fail when they are perfectly good drivers, it just is painful because I am going to have to starve a little bit more than what I was going to before which was practically to the point of death anyway, so we shall see how that goes. It will begin very soon no doubt because I have £30 left on my credit card (which i will have to use for conact lenses) £30 cash and I am still £160 short of rent and bills for the summer. Well not even the entire summer, just until start of August. I need to find another £160 like I said for then and then another £250 for rent by start of Sept.

I can't do much admin work because I need to keep my nose to the grindstone if I want to get anywhere near a 2.1 his semester so quite frankly how I am going to solve this situation is a mystery. For now, I just need to get my 2.1 there is food in the house to last about 2 weeks ish, then we shall have to go from there. There are los of misc. things I need though like bus tickets, so I genuinely don't have any cash already. I really wanted to go to the summer ball aswell but tickets are £35 so I suppose that is out of the question :(

I'm going to go and get on with the task of getting something ou of this 3 years of porperness Byeeee x

EEEEKKKK

My driving test is tomorrow!!!!!!!

I m not going to say I am nervous, because I can pass first time and I can drive. I just have to focus and be confident.

x~Olive~x

Evil Internet

The internet can be so evil sometimes, it just sucks your life away. I haven't done nearly enough of my essay so I have decided, I AM NOT GOING TO BED UNITL IT IS FINISHED. I can't go back on that now, I have given my blog my word, once it is done I can sleep, and I like my sleep so maybe I'll stop pissing around. I have annoyed myself now at wasting so much time. I shan't sleep until it is done, plus my OH is back tomorrow so I don't want to have bags/still be in bed when he turns up. Not to mention the fact that the boiler man is coming tomorrow so I have to be up and showered before 9am if I don't want to be embarrased.

I can get more of my EU essay done then I suppose. But really. I am not sleeping now until this is finished. How the hell I am going to be able to do a dissertation next year if I can't even write a little essay!?

Just quickly before I go, I have been eating really healthily the last few days as planned :) and feeling a tiny bit less enormous already, but I can't stop the second I feel a bit thinner, because this is a lifestyle change, which I need to rememer, yes I can have the odd off day max, once a week, but that is all. I think I might have a small bowl of pasta for dinner tonight because I haven't had many carbs this week and I don't want my calorie intake to be too low. Today I have eaten, 6 cracker bread with cream cheese and olives (breakfast), a fishfinger sandwich(lunch) and a pear (snack) Hmmm, doesn't sound much. I am not going to count calories though, because it takes too much time and effort, but I'm sure its an okay amount, especially once I have had dinner.

Right it is 5pm so I have about 5 1/2 hours to do this essay...plenty of time I think If i focus.

Losing Weight

So here we are again, I begin on my mission to lose weight. I have no idea how much I weigh right now, but I think I will find out and then I need to sort it out! I think I would like to lose between 1 and 1-1/12 stone depending on how much I weigh now. Basically I don't want to be any more than 9 stone so I know I have at least a stone to lose which is a lot!

I am not really doing much to lose the weight, just eating less, smaller portions, less carbs. Smaller portions is the biggest thing for me, I am okay after I have got used to it for a week but then I am so easily tempted by a massive meal so I need to stop falling at that hurdle. I really want a flat stomach and to fit in my old jeans again. I know I am a bit podge and I need something to motivate me. So I know I need to be really toned before I have children and its harder to get there the older you are so I may aswell do it now when I am still at uni, rather than worrying about it hen I have graduated and have a million other things to worry about. I will weigh myself in Boots later on this week and let you know where I am with my weight and then hopefully will be able to record my losses here as I go! I am aware about the lifestyle change but right now I just want to get it off, then stick to smaller portions later.

Being on my own is really rubbish by the way, I am bored out of my mind and my essay is really difficult but I have to start a new one tomorrow and get my presentation sorted tomorrow too. So I am feeling stressed about work already :( I hate not having to speak....for hours on end, it feels weird.

Easter

So the low down, Family are in Egypt whilst I am stuck in dreary old england :( My man has decided to stay at his Mum's for the rest of Easter which means I get to spend the next week all on my own which is quite frankly, completely crappy and I miss him already.

I had an awful mock driving test last week were I got 7 majors and my manoveurs went horrifically wrong, but my test is now on the 22nd of April which is a fantastic date I will hopefully be comfortable with everything by then and *fingers crossed* i'll pass. I can't imagine how stressed I would be right now if it was in 3 days!

I am still jobless but a prospect has come up which reminds me I need to send off my application today, and I am getting into my first essay which is a good job because I need to finish this and write an entire new one this week if I am to have any hope of not getting massively stressed about assessments after easter. Which i really can't be bothered with (the stress not the assessments)

I quite like writing essays so I just have to keep myself motivated!

x~Olive~x

A Quick Hello

Just a fly by visit because I haven't written in ages! It is Easter Sunday and I am all on my lonesome :( but I have just made a yummy victoria sponge cake and hopefully my dinner for one will be a success! I am planning on writing at least half of an essay today, between now and me being back in the kitchen which is why I don't really have much time to write about anything.

I all good though, I haven't seen M in just over 24hours and I miss him loads already! Which is rubbish but he will be back Tuesday. I was feeling needy when I left him so I expected to miss him.

I have to get at least 2 essays done in the next week. One I just need to write, all the planning has been done, (easier said than done though!) the second one needs a lot more work. But I am not on my own for nothing so when M comes back I want to be a bit relaxed and he can feel stressed about all the work that needs to be done!

x~Olive~x

HERMIT

Yeah cos I really chose to have no money and to not be able to go out because I really do prefer it this way being really really lonely.

IDIOT > TWAT > SPOILT > BRAT

Library

I made it to my 9.15 this morning and I am pretty damn pleased with myself! I have been in the library since, preparing for a seminar presentation meeting. I went and NO ONE in the group had done any reading. AT ALL. If I hadn't done they wouldn't have a clue what to say and it would have been a waste of time but instead they get the fruits of my labour! What is the sense in going to organise a seminar when you don't even know what the seminar is about. it s beyond me.

Anyway, look at me pretending to be miss contientious, well I am aspiring. I really need to get on with my IDP essay now, time is pressing on. I am working tonight so today will be a long day. I left the house at 8.50 to catch the bus to uni and won't be home until about 10pm because I finish work at 9.30. I am a bit tired of calling people now tbh!

I need to arrange a meeting with my tutor to discuss my grades too. I have only seen her once and didn't like her :/ Oh well, if I see her again and don't like her I can always switch, even though it is a bit late in the day. Job front is pressing but I really do need to get the Essay done more than anything. I have just over two and a half hours more library time, which is nothing tbh with the amount I have to do. Better get on with it then!

x~Olive~x

Busy

So I didn't really let myself get upset about my failure on the job front yesterday, but me, knowing myself quite well, knew I needed to have a good bawl at some point. Well that point was this morning. My man (I think I will call him M from now on istead of writing man) turned the heating on in the bedroom again in the middle of the night, I can't express enough how much I hate this. I woke up at six thirty and went a bit mental about it. Then had a bit of a cry, then got upset about the job I think, so had even more of a cry and proceeded to do out to my driving lesson bleary eyed. No more crying over the job itself now though. Although I will no doubt get upset about the fact that I can't insure my car, or I have no money to spend on fun stuff even when I do get my loan, or that I run out of money completely in June...all I will be left with is rent until the end of september. No food, no anything! Anyway, M was really quite understanding actually, I love the way he is starting to suprise me with his understandingness (not even a word lol).

My driving lesson was okay I suppose, nothing special, nothing horrendus. I have a 3 hour lesson on Saturday starting at 8.15am! I am not too sure if i will be ready for my test, so I might well fail, but I don't mind too much (well at least I didn't when I thought I would have a job to go back to) I will just book one for as soon as I can afterwards.

I have so much to do this week and next. I need to finish an essay I am writing for one of my units and get my group sorted for a presentation we have to do right after easter. The essay HAS to be done and to a fairly high standard because although it is only a draft what is the point in handing in a draft that is nothing like what the essay is going to be like! Apart from that I have lots of driving starting now, like I said Saturday, then I have Tuesday and then Friday. I also need to sort out my CV write cover letters and get applying to some jobs/internships if I can find some.

Right now I am going to go home and cook me and M a roast for when he gats back from work, because I think I was hard work this morning and he was lovely and just said that he was worried about me.

x~Olive~x

Jobless

So I didn't get the Job. I think it is so harsh to be told that I was really good at my job last year and to apply for a better role and then to not get a job at all. Nothing I can do about it no though. As far as money is concerned I have none. literally, not even when I get my loan. It is so depressing but I just need to continue looking for another job.

My budget shows that I will run out of money on the 26th June, I will have money put away for my bills and rent until the end of september, so I will have to find Octobers rent and some bills before the end of September, and then food money from July onwards.

Sheffield

My man has gone to Sheffield today for his water polo finals. I considered going with him but they laft at 6am and I wanted to be ready for next week at Uni a little more because I really need to write at least one essay over the next few days. So today I think I will spend cleaning, organising and reading / making notes, sorting out what library books need to be back and when etc. making a substantial plan for both of my essays. Hopefully I can be in uni by 9am every day (except when I have driving lessons) up until Easter.

I have two shifts as a caller next week, I am actually quite good at it by the way, which pleases my man because he was worried I was going to be rubbish and that it would upset me. We (or he) is a bit short on rent this month, which isn't very good, but he will have to try and sort something out. I am a bit worried about the rent and bills for the summer really as as of yet he has no income and It will have to come out of his rent until he knows he can pay it otherwise.

I am feeling a bit broody again which is rubbish, but now the common sense part has clicked, (as in the bit that says WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING WANTING A CHILD!!! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LIVED YOUR LIFE AFTER GRADUATION WITH A CAREER YET, AND CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO GO OUT ONCE A WEEK LET ALONE BRING UP A CHILD) Its pretty much tamed to the point where I don't get the urge to let him be stupid. Because no doubt he doesn't want one yet, but he is just male, and with me off the pill he occassional gets carried away). Plus he needs to have my hand in marriage before we can make any ickle baba's, preferably. But we definately need to live life a bit together, with money, and without the constraints of a child first. Not that i was thinking about it seriously, its just broodiness can sometimes take over!

Right I need to shower, have breakfast and be generally productive. I haven't stayed at home for no reason.

x~Olive~x

Catch up

Well I haven't written much for a while, so I thought I'd go for a long one. My driving test is in 4 weeks today, and I think my driving is going a lot better. I had a good last lesson but I have only had one this week because I couldn't do this morning. My driving instructor doesn't seem to worried about my progress in relation to my driving test so it should be okay. I did my first manoever this week. Turn in the road (or three point turn) it was really easy! So I am looking forward to my next lesson, I think it will all come together even more.

I got my exam results. They were what I needed, but not what I wanted, I was hoping for a 64% average, but I got a 61.4% average. My economics unit was really bad as I expected and ended up with 53% but I was really shocked at my Conflict result because I got 53% overall, and I thought that exam went really well! In my other 3 units I got 68 68 and 65 though which is really promising. This semester I hope to get 67% average, because then my overall average for the 2nd year will be 64.2% so something more solid. A 1st Class degree is pretty much impossible for me I think, but I just want above 65% so that isn't an issue, I still need to work exceedingly hard for it though.

I have been really lazy for the last few weeks, but now I have realised we are half way through the semester already so I have started to panic a little bit. I have also realised that staying at home is no way to get any work done, not even essays. I need to get out of the house to work hard so thats what I will be doing.

I didn't get the job for the summer that I wanted because it was 15weeks (it wasn't a particularly enticing job) but I got an interview and they replied saying I was an outstanding candidate but I was overqualified. I was furious to say the least. But I had to get over it and today I had my Job interview for the Open University as both a coordinator and assistant, I really want the coordinator role, as it pays just enough for me to be okay over the summer. The assistant role, not quite enough. I was supposed to be told this afternoon whether I got the job, but I haven't heard :( so I am slightly nervous about having to wait until Monday.

Me and my Man have been getting along really well recently, infact we are amazing most of the time :) he has started talking about our future together after university which is so nice, because I thought I was the only one who was thinking about it, but he has plans, I love him more than anything, he really is my soul mate so I hope nothing comes between us.

I am a bit bored with things at the moment, I don't really have any thing to do that I enjoy, I simply can't afford it. I would love to be able to go and watch a film, or go for a meal, or even go for a drink, but I can't and I haven't been able to for ages. I reall can't wait until my wages start coming in!

I am going to make dinner, so I'll sign off

x~Olive~x

Not feeling too good

My max isn't making me feel very good at the moment, so I am not feeling very good about myself. I just feel down.

I have booked my driving test for the 9th of April which is some good news, I didn't have a lesson this week but I am having two 2 hour lessons as of next week. Hopefully that should be enough and I will feel confident when the time comes. Then I will collect my car on April 2010.
I don't know if I wrote that I passed my theory test, but I did pass well.

I also had my telephone interview for alumni fundraiser and it went better than last time so I feel better about that, still not sure I was good enough though. I have an interview for disability coordinator on the 12th of March in Bristol, but I am also waiting to hear about the job I applied for in the english language department.

I'm going to go now, cos I have a presentation

NATWEST

Are being idiots, I just applied for a credit card with them and they rejected me. I wanted it for security if my funds are low when learning to drive...oh well. I will go into the bank and see what they say. I am still not feeling to good about myself, it seems all I will be doing for the next 6 weeks is trying to study as well as get as much paid work done as i can whilst still worrying about money all the time, and not really going out/doing anything I remotely enjoy at all (except driving lessons)

Thats life.

x~Olive~x

This week

Semester 2 began this week and I am still in quite a large dilemma over what units to choose. Do I wan't to have four 2,500 word essays all due in on the same week or shall I do a different unit and have 3 essays and two exams. I think the latter but now I have to choose between tw different units. one about development and the other a historical IR unit. Now I love IR, but not the history behind it, the here and now is what I love so I am not sure that is the one for me, but the other unit seems less organised and is now classed as a sociology unit (although the content is the same and it was economics up until this year). So tomorrow I suppose I need to make my decision. I will go to the History of IR lecture and see if I like it or not. Then take it from there. Also adding to the dilemma is the fact that the Devleopment lecture is a 9.15 lecture. I am notoriously bad at getting up for 9.15's but I suppose that is just a poor excuse and it needs to be sorted anyway for when i enter the real world! Two 9.15's a week is harldy taxing (I have to get up at 7am at the latest to be ontime for them).

On other things, i had my third driving lesson yesterday and it was amazzziiing!!! I drove so much, did traffic lights, roundabouts, lots of busier junctions, a dual carriage way and I went at almost 60mph! It was so much fun. I literally cannot believe how good of an teacher my driving instructor is. I spoke to her about booking my test at the end and she said 9th of April is fine :D I just need to pass my theory next wednesday then I should be able to book it! Very exciting.

I have been feeling a bit lonely lately, and I can only imagine that it is going to get worse as the semester goes on. It did last year and things were better then as far as knowing people goes..I have tried joining groups and societies, (3 - tramps, L&B, and the newspaper) but nothing good came of any of them so i don't really know what to do anymore. I am just going to try and get as much paid work done as I can in my spare time and hopefully that will occupy me enough. Plus lots of studying of course, that goes without saying, but i am so glad I have essays this term and 2 exams instead of 4.

My man called his Dad today after he hasn't bothered to contact him for nearly a month and a half and he got ignored. I cannot get over how vile that man is, eughh. I can't believe he can treat his own children in such a way. He is THE most selfish person I have ever met and ever hope to meet ever again. It upsets me because I know it is getting to him at the min. On top of that, things are really tight financially, he literally has almost ran out of money and he needs all the help he can get. Because of the the fact that he used to work for him for 2 years and put everything he had into building a relationship with him that way it is hurting him a lot now he has no relationship, no job and no source of income. I just wish I could make his Dad love him so he was happier.

Nothing else is going on in my life as per usual except uni, driving and my boy, so I'll leave it there. I have a 9.15 tomorrow and want to do a quick clean up of the house before I go to bed at 10.30.

x~Olive~x

My Clio

This is what my Clio looks like (its not my actual one because I haven't seen it yet) but i'm sure it is similar, probably not as shiny and 'fresh faced' but the same anyway. I have just formulated a plan for mother to bring it down when she has a week off. Dad isn't happy he wants to keep it until I pass my test but that is just silly. I do not want that to happen. But then Dad is saying that it isn't coming down here unless it is fully insured. Which is rubbish. So i may have to get insurance as a provisional driver and then switch when i pass.

But I am starting to get grumpy with it all now because It is all going to cost soo much money and I don't know if I can afford insurance. It is all so expensive :( oh well....I need to find £550 as it is. Unless I save all of my leisure money for the next few weeks and may be able to scrape together £100 that would help. It isn't like I have any friends to spend money with anyway. What is the point in having a first car if it is just left to rust?

Organisation

So I am trying to sort myself out so I don't crash and burn because it feels like my finances are running away from me, it will no doubt take a few more hours of this afternoon, then I will get on with my spring cleaning that I have decided to embark upon. I think I will have a shower first though....otherwise I will just feel lazy!

Hopefully, I will come back with a smile, thinking i will be able to manage all my bills and even maybe my insurance, but to be honest, I cant be sure I can manage my insurance until I get a summmer job. I need to get insurance though really. I mean, what is the point in having a car if I can't even drive it. Agh, it is going to end up costing me an absolute fortune!

After I manage to scrub and organise and clean every room in the house from top to bottom, i plan to sort out my semester two organisation. Then I can do the shopping tomorrow morning and relax the rest of the weekend. Semester two starts on Monday, I am working a fair bit next week and I need to have everything ready so I can get off to the best possible start with regards to earning money and getting a good degree.

Suprises

On the admin job I applied for, I got an e-mail back the very next morning inviting me for interview which is very promising, fingers crossed I get it! But an even bigger suprise was Dad informing me that he has brought me a car yesterday eeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkk!!! You have no idea how excited I am, it is a little red Renault Clio, and at first (after some much needed googling) I thought it would be the square, decidedly older version, but today i am told it isn't it is an S Reg 1999, and the first few of the new cute ones. Dad and my little brother also say it is really nice inside, almost like brand new. I am so eager to get it down here it is unreal.

In my excitement I have been looking at insurance quotes all night and I found 10 months (which gives you 1 yr no claims) for 850. Not too bad really. £85 per month is an awful lot of money, but the car's is MOT lasts until 2nd December and it is taxed until May I think, so no money need be spent there. Of course there is petrol etc. but the bus and doing the shopping costs me £13.50 so say £15 squid petrol a week and I should be okies! I hear it is quite economical. Now I just need to pass in April so I can get some proper driving done!

She (the Clio) is my baby already! I was going to name her, but Clio is pretty enough as it is so she will just be my littele Clio :D I might be getting ahead of myself but I reckon I am not too bad of a driver and will be able to pass fairly soon. I know I will need to buy a few more lessons, but hopefully, come Easter time, I am ready. Gosh I am so ridiculously excited. Hence why it is twenty to two and I am still awake. I never stay up this late for no reason! I told my sister about it today. I wasn't allowed to yesterday as Dad was nervous. She was annoyed to say the least. Thinks it is favouritism, but it isn't of course, she just can't be bothered to learn to drive.

I better stop dreaming about my Clio and get myself to bed then. Night!

P.S My Boy's younger sister failed her driving test for the 3rd time today!!! Bless her, but she is probably a pretty good driver by now and I am sure she will pass next time.

x~Olive~x

Catch Up

Ha ha ha, so I just re read my last blog post. Its a bit of a rant is it not?! I have calmed down a bit now, hopefully my hormones will slowly return back to normal this cycle! But yes, hormonal contraception has been abandoned for the time being.

My exams

I finished them last Wednesday, which is nearly a week ago now. I just haven't had time to write about them at all! My first exam was on International Organisations and that went really badly. I think, if I can remember rightly, I amswered one question just okayish, and the second one really badly, so I don't expect to get more than 55% if I am VERY lucky. Not good. But it gets worse. My Economics exam was terrible. Literally shocking. I am predicting somewhere in the realms of 45 % maximum, But i did get 62% on my essay which was worth 50% so that should save me a little bit. My last two politics exams went a lot better I am happy to say. If they went as badly as the first to I would probably have quit uni by now! I felt really good after my 3rd one (hoping for a high 60% , but i have never ever got that in an exam before so I might be dreaming) and my last one I got a brilliant first question and an okay second question so am hoping for 65%. Who knows, I never got what I hoped for in my last exams. Infact. In first year, I think i did decidedly poorly in all my exams. I am so glad, I only have one next semester.

As for everything else, well, my boy is going to Kenya this summer without me :( he didn't want me to come with (its a slightly long story - volunteering) so I am decidely miserable that everyone is going away this year except me (the rest of my family are off to egypt this easter). I need to top up my tan and stop me from getting depressed. So I am going to have to come up with something. I hate having nothing to look forward to.

I have started driving! I had my second 2 hour lesson today, it was quite good, I loved my first lesson. I felt like I had learnt sooo much, this lesson felt a little bit slower, but I did make progress and went out onto a busier road down a massive hill on the way back. We were mostly doing T Junctions, left and right turns, and I think I got the hang of them, I'm not as half as bad a driver as I thought I would be. I have my theory test booked for 2 weeks time so I need to start studying for that. My aim is to pass by the end of April/start of May, so fairly quickly. But my money is running dangerously low.

Erm, nothing else interesting is going on really. I am not going to see my sister, because she never organised it for the Inter Semester Break - which is now, so I am just going to do some admin work, tomorrow, thursday and friday.

I applied for a different job this summer. I am sure I will be able to get my OU job, but I applied for a secretary position, which if I was to get would mean I would earn £5000 over the summer. How AMAZING would that be. I get all tingly just thinking about it! I would cry if I go it. Like literally, I just guess I can hope, thats all.

Anyway, I have to go. Got to make dinner,

x~Olive~x

Coming off the Pill

So i stopped taking my Pill 3 weeks ago, It was okay at first, as i knew it would be because I have 7 day breaks anyway, but now I am having serious withdrawal whilst my body is trying to get back to normal. It is horrible, my mood swings are horrific, never had anything like them and my Boy is getting the full brunt of it but he isn't being understanding at all, just horrible, which is making me worse. I just hope my body sorts itself out quickly. I regret ever going on the pill. Its a horrible thing to be constantly pumping yourself full of crap, and having to deal with the conseqences when you do want to stop, but no one tells you about them when you start taking them. No one says you might not have a period for a year, or you might be depressed for 6 months or any of that. Eugh. Horrible. I HATE hormonal contraception.

Update

I haven't blogged in a while, I have been very busy with exams and I still am! I have done two and they have gone badly unfortunately, so I need to concentrate on these next two which are tomorrow and wednesday, then I have my first driving lesson tuesday!

What isn't helping is that I am having (or convincing myself to have!) another big worry about the possibility of being pregnant. But that is a long story, maybe for another time, but after it passes, which i'm sure it will, it will probably slip from my mind! I am such a worrier!

Sorting my life out

I have booked my first driving lesson!! It is on the 26th of January and I will book a set of 20 lessons (2 hours a week) which means I will have lessons for the next 2 months....I don't really want to be doing much more than 20 lessons, because I simply can't afford it so hopefully I will be a good driver. Eeeeekkk, scary stuff!

Catch up!

I haven't written in a long while! I have been very busy. I went to France with my Boy, his Dad, Grandma, Auntie and two sisters, who had never really spent any time with their Dad before (he abandonded them when they were little) so it was a very interesting experience.

My man got a little bit overwhelmed by it all, (including his Dad continuing to be a completing arrse and treating him like a doormat as usual) and got really upset one day. It breaks my heart to see him upset. Anyway, he is leaving things with his Dad for a while now and seeing if he really cares. The place we stayed was lovely. A chateau with a river going under it, and we just entertained ourself in an old fashioned way, making boats out of paper and bottles and racing them down the river, playing bowls and playing cards. We got back on the Sunday after another 12 hour drive back to my Family. My man stayed at mine and we left for University and to go back to our flat on the Monday.

So we have been back five days, and everything has gone quite according to plan. I have been at university every day since Tuesday and have done about 5 hours of revision each day, but some were a little more distracted than others. Have been eating really healthy dinners, mainly chicken breast (roasted) and vegetables, and not too much food. I don't feel like I am loosing any weight though, but I suppose it is early days and I never weighed myself to begin with!

The weather has been interesting! Its snowed on Wednesday and has been around since because as I am sure you all know the whole of the UK is freezing at the moment! I have walked to/back from uni a couple of times, as part of a bid to increase my activity levels.

This evening we are supposed to be having a poker night. My mans friends are coming round and we brought in beers (I have my Crabbies alcoholic Ginger Beer, which if you like normal ginger beer I urge you to try! Its delicious!!) and tortilla chips and dips and nuts. Which is no doubt going to sabotage my healthy eating for the evening but such things don't put me off anymore. Having one bad evening a week is a lot better than 7 a week, which is what mine used to be with the way I was eating.

Anyway, I have decided to put 120 million percent into my exams now because I won't really have anymore exams in the future. I think next semester I will have one, maybe two, but when there aren't that many its different. So i plan to up the anti a little bit with regards to the time I get to and leave the library.

Just wanted to add, that me and my munchkin have been getting on amazingly over the past few weeks and I am literally loving every min of being with him. I thought such feelings would fade a little bit after being together for 2 and a half years, and maybe a little bit with moving in together and seeing eachother alllll the time but then it wouldn't be true love would it :)

Happy new year!